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[nalakavp]

Homosexuality is one of the least discussed topics in Sri Lanka. Being gay does no harm to me or anyone else,therefore I don't see it as a sin. Almost all the psychological/sociological associations in the world accept homosexuality as a natural human trait. Thanks for taking your valuable time.

[Charmgirl]

Hi,

This subject is a very controversial and sensitive one specially in Asian countries like us. One must use one's common sense and human intelligence to think, analyze, and decide for oneself.

Throughout history, societies have always wanted to play and impose "moral" judgment on others who do not "behave" like them, not that their moral codes are necessarily correct.

The Buddha did not introduce any "new" or "special" moral standard for his followers, but advised them to think and analyze by using their human intelligence and just plain common sense. We do not have to depend on any "super power" or anyone for that matter to teach us what is generally right or wrong, for example: stealing, killing, and telling lies. Likewise we don't have to bow to others' opinions about our own private lives.

We all have our attitudes and opinions due to our mental "blindness" which we are unable to see the real picture of life and existence.It is your choice to live your life that you deem fit and proper.

If someone is arguing that homosexuality leads breaking the 3rd precept then i think he/she doesn't know the real meaning of third precept. To abstain from sexual misconduct is the third of the 5 precepts which a good Buddhist would abide. The purpose of keeping the 5 precepts is to keep us away from troubles and problems. The emphasis here is "misconduct". If one is having extra sexual affairs with, it is sexual misconduct. We all know the problems and troubles this type of sexual misconduct will create. Sexual misconduct does not necessarily mean illegal sex, which is against the country's laws. As the key word is "misconduct", it implies our misbehavior in sexual activities. If a couple is sincerely in love, whether legally married or not, their sexual activities should not be considered as sexual misconduct.

I would not consider sexual activities between 2 homosexuals as "sexual misconduct" if they do not extend their sexual activities with other parties. As long as they keep their sexual relationship within themselves, I don't see any harm or trouble that they may cause to others, or themselves.

My own opinion is It does not matter who or what you are, as long as you live a harmless life according to Buddha's way. Last but not least Buddhism is for wise people not for fools.

May Triple Gem Bless You...!!!

[Wasantha]

Dear Charmgirl,

I appreciate your reply about homosexuality. And I would like to correct you if you do not mind.
You can’t say exactly that homosexuality not break 3rd precept. Because he/she if not belongs to you then you are breaking 3rd precept. To say the least he/she if belongs to you then you never break 3rd precept.

May Triple Gem Bless You!

[Charmgirl]

Hi Wasantha,

I'm glad as at least one has read my post and reply.

But let me ask some questions from you. What do you exactly mean by "if he/she is not yours"? Is it by means of the country laws? Can you please clarify how someone belongs to another?
As i already mentioned "Sexual misconduct does not necessarily mean illegal sex, which is against the country's laws. As the key word is "misconduct", it implies our misbehavior in sexual activities. If a couple is sincerely in love, whether legally married or not, their sexual activities should not be considered as sexual misconduct."
I think you might need to look the deep end and try to understand the human relationships with a different eye. We should not limit to a certain frame and try to resolve problems within that frame which might be a wrong judgment.

May Triple Gem Bless You...!!!

[Wasantha]

Hi Charmgirl,

I’m sorry for my small explanation.

Just imaging,
Boy=B
Girl=G

First example:-
This B and G not married and they are falling love. Parents also do not know about this affair. On this situation B and G are doing the sexual activities so they will break 3rd precept.

Second Example:-
This B and G not married and they falling love. But the parents are both sides they know about this and verbally gave the permission to do love. On this condition that B and G never break the 3rd precept.

Please consider this is not my idea. This is according to pure Theravada Buddhism.
And another thing if you jump out the frame of Dhamma it is not the correct path. And you can resolve any problems in side the frame of Dhamma.

May Triple Gem Bless You!

[Charmgirl]

Hi Wasantha,

I never said to jump out of the Dhamma frame, did I? And I too believe you can resolve anything within that frame because it is the eternal truth whether we believe or not.

Now let me come to your examples.

First example:-
This B and G not married and they are falling love. Parents also do not know about this affair. On this situation B and G are doing the sexual activities so they will break 3rd precept.

If they have sincerely fallen in love and doing sexual activities they are not breaking the 3rd precept. (Of course doing sexual activities before marriage is not a culture in Sri Lanka.) But they will be breaking the 3rd precept if one of them or both having sexual activities with a third party by cheating other. Fallen in love is purely a mental bonding. If someone is searching for a third party by cheating other, it means they look only for sex not love.  It is always a good thing to let the parents know about the affair and get their permission. But without doing that, it doesn’t mean they are breaking the 3rd precept .

Second Example:-
This B and G not married and they falling love. But the parents are both sides they know about this and verbally gave the permission to do love. On this condition that B and G never break the 3rd precept.

What if both their parents are dead? Who will give them the permission?

May Triple Gem Bless You!!!

[Wasantha]

Hi Charmgirl,

First of all let me ask one question from you.
*Do you believe the Original Pali Canon and Commentary?

If yes, I can continue this topic. If not, we are wasting our time and no point to discuss this.
I noticed finally you asked good question. I’ll answer for that if you do believe Original Pali Canon and Commentary.

May Triple Gem Bless You!

[Charmgirl]

Hi Wasantha,

Yes I do believe Original Pali Canon and Commentary. Please send me your explanation.

May Triple Gem Bless You..!!!

[Wasantha]

Hi Charmgirl,

I’m glad because you do believe Pali Canon and Commentary.
Your question is
* What if both their parents are dead? Who will give them the permission?

If the parents are not alive, that he/she depends on grand father, grand mother, brother or sister etc.
So we need to get the permission from them. Just we say he/she doesn’t have any body and not depending from any one then they both are do true love each and other, in this time they never break 3rd precept.

Our perfect, Venerable Lord Buddha said very deep boundary of this subject. I can’t tell you those things via this because this is public forum and I don’t’ know about you.
I appreciate if you can read this book “Bauddhayage Athpotha” by venerable Rerukane Chandawimala Thero.

May Triple Gem Bless You!

සියල්ලෝ ම ධර්මාවබෝධය ලබත්වා ! සියලු දෙව්මිනිසුන් සුවපත් වේවා ! අප භාග්‍යවත් අර්හත් සම්මා සම්බුදුරජාණන් වහන්සේගේ ශාසනය බොහෝ කල් පවතීවා !

චිරං තිට්ඨතු ලෝකස්මිං සම්මාසම්බුද්ධසාසනං !

තමහට වැඩ කැමැත්තෝ තිසරණයෙහි පිහිටත්වා !

[Charmgirl]

Hi Wasantha,

First of all can you answer this question?

“Say a man and a women living together without their parents consent. They are sincerely in love and never cheat each other. Both are doing jobs and can take care of each other well. They are involving in sexual activities too. Later they decided to get legally married” Do you think there were breaking the 3rd precept at the beginning?

************************************************************************
“If the parents are not alive, that he/she depends on grandfather, grand mother, brother or sister etc.So we need to get the permission from them. Just we say he/she doesn’t have any body and not depending from any one then they both are do true love each and other, in this time they never break 3rd precept.”

Can you tell me the exact Sutta (Not a name of a book) where it has mentioned about details of 3rd precept? If the above statements you have mentioned are exact words of Lord Buddha, then I must tell you that you have not understood the exact meaning of it.

My understanding according to that statement is,

We should think carefully why Lord Buddha has mentioned such statement like that. It’s to ensure women’s security in the society.

All you have to understand is, if your intention is good and not harming others then its not breaking any precept. Remember your bad thoughts give bad results and if they are good thoughts, the result will be definitely good.  (Chethanahan Bhikkave Kamman Vadami)



May Triple Gem Bless You...!!!
 

[Wasantha]

Hi Charmgirl,

I’m sorry I won’t give answer for this. But my opinions do no do sexual activities because it is for the safe side.

These details you can find out from the great Commentary. So that book (what I mentioned previous)
Provide the Pali verse of the commentary. That’s why I told you to refer that book.(I wont give the example out of Pali Canon or Commentary) Because nowadays bit difficult to refer Commentary. 

And I did not get you “We should think carefully why Lord Buddha has mentioned such statement like that. It’s to ensure women’s security in the society.”
Please can you explain me more?

Ok, let me ask a question from you, because I want you to understand actually what “Chethanahan Bhikkave Kamman Vadami” is

Just imagine you have bomb in front of you. Now you want to deactivate this. (Your intention is good and not harming others). But you cut the wrong wire what will happen? (Still your intention is good)

May all beings be happy and well !

[Dinesh]

Hi All,
Why these people so much interested in talking about the sex?
Anybody knows the reason?

[Charmgirl]

Hi Dinesh,

This is not about one's interest in talking sex. This is an open forum for discussions on various issues and questions people have and they are expecting answers according to the Buddhism. What is so wrong in talking about sex and seeking an answer according to Buddhism? Don't forget the greatness of Buddhism is, it can be applied to any situation or any issue in the society nicely.

May Triple Gem Bless You...!!!

[Dinesh]

Hi Charmgirl,

Yes, I can understand that this is an open forum and people can discuss on various issues and questions. I think, I know the greatness of the Buddhism also. The answer to your question is, nothing is wrong in talking about sex. But still I can't understand why these people so much interested in talking about sex.

Don't forget that, there is no any sexuality without passion.

Theruwan Saranai!

Dinesh.